This past Tuesday, Professor Joe Kerr of environmental studies accidentally misprinted the midterm for a class of over 800 students. As it turns out, Kerr printed a midterm from Winter Quarter three years ago and distributed it out to his tired students.
Halfway through passing out the exam, a TA with exceptional eyesight noticed the error and brought it to Kerr’s attention. Kerr immediately collected all of the incorrect midterms, dropped them on the ground and proceeded to cry.
“It’s not even Winter Quarter,” said one anonymous Gaucho who almost skipped the 8 a.m. midterm. “It’s like, dude, you have a Ph.D, and you can’t even print papers right?”
Not only did Kerr contribute to global warming because of the excessive paper waste, but he ended up showing YouTube videos the entire class period instead of having the midterm, which he pushed back indefinitely.
“You know, when I was in high school, all my teachers told me that our professors would be super strict,” says first-year theater major Alec Azam. “They’re actually pretty dumb, if you ask me.”
It is unknown whether or not Professor Kerr will rewrite the midterm entirely or just change the date on the upper right hand corner and say, “Fuck it.” All evidence points to the former because he uploaded the correct version of the exam onto GauchoSpace which caused a massive panic in the 5 p.m. section.
“I’m a failure,” Professor Kerr told Nexustentialism. “I spent eight years getting my Ph.D only to embarrass myself in front of 800 kids. Life is so hard.”
Arthur King promises that this isn’t about any specific professor.