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Claiming that he just doesn’t have that kind of money right now, your friend who just bought a $200 eight ball of cocaine still can’t pay you back those six bucks right now.

“If you just wait till next Friday, my mom should be refilling my account,” he explained in a text. “My bad bro.”

After seven weeks of taunting from Venmo’s “incomplete” tab, it’s now becoming clear your shitbag, excuse-of-a-person friend might not ever pay you back.

“It does seem a little strange that he could buy a huge sack of blow that he will undoubtedly dust this weekend and not be able to pay me back some pocket change,” you say to yourself.

Adding to your suspicion, your friend has made clear plans to continue his weekend spending.

“Anyone trying to grab a pitcher in a bit?” asked the friend in a mutual GroupMe. “First round on me!”


Joey Blowey is a fourth-year senior who is friends with some outstanding gentlemen…