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October, the time of year when kids and adults alike can dress up as the princesses and superheroes that they will never grow up to be.
For those of us who have outgrown costumes, this is also the time when we remember the existence of the bright orange vegetable: pumpkins.
Yes, the pumpkin exists, and we remember not because the neighborhood market starts selling them when the first leaf falls.We all love pumpkins because they remind us of the seasonal Pumpkin Spice Latte that Starbucks allows us to savor once a year.
Basics, listen close. It’s overrated, I must admit. Depending on your barista, sometimes it can taste just as bad as a pumpkin pie that your delirious Aunt Sally brought over to Thanksgiving dinner blended up in a cup. This all depends on how you order it, I suppose.
Shortly after the fall breeze picked up this year, I found myself waiting for my own Pumpkin Spice Latte inside a Starbucks. “A venti skim chai tea latte for Jane,” the barista yelled. I chuckled as a woman with designer shades covering half her face strolled up to claim her order.
A drink can reveal a lot about a person. In fact, so much of their lifestyle and habits are hidden in a drink that the NSA is probably monitoring our receipts.
If it is a quad, you know they are not planning to sleep that night. Anything with skim or soy probably means the person thinks they are living healthy, but we all know it’s foul. The cream and sugar that goes into that drink are enough calories for a squirrel to hibernate through the winter.
I sat there twiddling my thumbs when a barista stepped forward, presented a drink and recited, “Grande, two pump, triple, extra cream, soy skinny pumpkin latte for Rob.”
I was dumbfounded. I understand when customers customize their drink to their own taste, but this amount of extra work is straight-up obnoxious. If customers wanted to customize their food, Subway and Blaze Pizza are there to welcome them.
Although everyone wants to get the most out of their overpriced cup of caffeinated drink, they can practice their high-maintenance latte order at a five-star restaurant where the servers there are actually getting paid a livable wage.
As October rolls around this year and people are dressing up, hopefully as anything but clowns, I will once again be reminded of the perfect cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte and hope that it reminds everyone to order the simple things in life.
When Irvin Tang isn’t waiting in line for coffee he is busy burning UGGs and boycotting plaid shirts from H&M.
