Last Sunday, it was reported that several patients at Sunny Hills Hospital were found to have elevated BAC levels. After a thorough investigation, it was revealed that all intoxicated patients received blood transfusions the previous evening from UCSB undergraduates. Local hematologist Jessica Milton M.D. was called in to examine the patients. Her results shown in Figure 1 illustrate the BAC levels of the patients, with most between 0.13-0.15 BAC. More surprising was Milton’s discovery in the samples of donated blood. The activity of liver enzymes alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), cytochrome P450 2E1 (CYP2E1) and catalase — enzymes used to break down alcohol — were extremely active and largely abundant. Milton added, “I’ve never seen anything like it. Even lifelong alcoholics hardly ever reach these levels.”
*Figure 1 displays the total distribution of BAC levels throughout the sample population, with a total of 88 affected. Note that the graph in Figure 1 is simplified: Ages, weights and other factors are not included.
“It was quite a surprise. When I came in, several patients had gathered in the cafeteria listening to Waka Flocka; some were passed out on the floor while others were trying to smoke their carrot sticks,” commented the hospital custodian, who wishes to remain unnamed. The patients suffered no further harm or injury other than a relatively painful headache the next morning and some regret.
One patient, Ally Richards, commented on her experience. “I hate getting blood transfusions, but this one felt different from most. After the needle went in, I started feeling warm and happy. Then, a second later, I’m in the middle of the cafeteria with a picture of the male anatomy drawn on my face.” However, Richards did not regret the actions that took place Sunday night and commented that “It was a great way to spend my 85th birthday. My kids and grandchildren haven’t visited me in years.”
Strict breathalyzer tests will soon be implemented to combat this issue. Volunteers of the blood drive organizations on campus commented, “We didn’t expect to have to throw out so much blood, but in reality, this isn’t the first time we’ve had to deal with an issue like this. This is actually our third time having to halt donations from UCSB.”
Although donations may lower, UCSB will continue to drink, party and give to those in need.