During a nightly stroll through Camino Pescadero Park on the 6500 Block of Del Playa Drive at around 11 p.m. on Friday, deputies happened upon a young female giving a golden shower to the grass — and her hands, feet and legs — against the fence of the park.
When asked for identification, the mysterious woman began handing officers trash from the bottom of her purse and then offered up her camera in the hopes her latest materials for a wittily-titled Facebook album could serve as proper photographic identification.
Although she initially denied having consuming any alcoholic beverages, the sodden Swede eventually conceded she had “a few shots of liquor” as she struggled to stay upright en route to a seat on a nearby bench.
The situation continued to worsen as IVFP deputies arrested her for public intoxication due to her spectacular failure at spelling her own first name (switching some Ds with Ts and missing a few crucial vowels). The young lady attempted to remain optimistic, yelling “we will have fun,” albeit while crying, in an attempt to rally her entourage of, well, no one.
Despite her cheery outlook on the turn of events, fun was not on the agenda for the rest of the Swede’s night. Realizing her impending incarceration, the suave Swede’s optimism turned to threats against national security … and undergarments. While waiting for her complimentary ride to the county jail, the femme fatale began yelling, “I have a Swedish terrorist in my panties. I have a bomb. I’m a Swedish terrorist and I will kill you.”