AQB is dedicating this one to all the athletes mentioned in this issue for their first time who will get laid exponentially more from now on. That’s what journalists do: Get other people laid for free.
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CSOs at the frats
Barefooter anywhere but 68 block
Senior at De La Guerra Dining Commons
Sober on a Lime scooter
A condom in a frat house
Electronic dance music at 9 a.m.
The sun during June gloom
Your ex at thanksgiving dinner
A black bear in South Hall
Chancellor Yang at Sunday Funday
Surfer at their 8 a.m.