Have you ever had a food craving that no meal on the planet could fulfill? Sorry, Freebirds, but there are times you just don’t cut it, and not because I’m a broke-ass bum this week. What’s really sad is when you think you’ve finally found this perfect food, you envision it’s tasty goodness, and then you chomp into it only to find it tastes like shit. Fucking conspiracy.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Maybe Subway should offer the Shit Sandwich. It might taste just as good as that meatball bullshit.