What the fuck is Glee? I know of some garbage shows out there, I guess I just can’t get used to hearing 21 and 22 year-olds raving about said shows and quoting them like they’re classics. What I appreciate is a good ‘slap bet’ reference, and I’m always looking for a ‘that’s what she said’ opportunity in earnest. I’ll acknowledge the clever use of ‘fish dicks’ in a professional setting, when need be, and I’ve been known to light up to a vintage ‘never-nude’ allusion. I will be nay amused, however, by something Lauren Conrad, Chuck Bass, or anyone on “Greek,” said.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Everyone who’s anyone knows what’s on tonight. The excruciatingly uncomfortable yet frighteningly relatable comedy, the culmination of the love story as treasured as PB & J. Still confused? You’re dead to me.