Editors’ Note: Jesse Byrd is a junior forward on the men’s basketball team. He’s also a talented writer, so we convinced him to start writing for Nexus Sports. Here’s his first column:

If you would be so kind as to lend me your eyes and your hearts for a moment, I’d like to talk to you a little bit on the topic of Hoes. Yes, I do capitalize the “h” in the word Ho, because, as we will see, a true Ho deserves the utmost homage when being spoken about. But first, let’s look at what defines a Ho, because I’m sure some understandings of the term may vary. The primary component to any Ho is the demonstration of lewd and lascivious behavior that involves a copious amount of males.

It is very important to note that no matter how many girls a girl messes around with, that does not count toward her Ho credentials. Think about it: if you knew a girl who made out with a different girl every weekend, you would dub her as being simply experimental, curious and perhaps even slightly erotic. However, if it were a new guy she had been suckin’ face with every weekend, then the title may be deserved. Also, do not allow the essence of her demeanor to swindle you into thinking she is anything other than what she is. Do not think that just because she is nice, has a bright smile, doesn’t always dress provocatively or has a bubbly and nice personality that she ain’t a Ho. There are plenty of girls who just really like sex; a Ho lacks the discretionary restraint to limit herself to a reasonable amount of partners. This doesn’t mean she is a bad person. Some of the nicest girls I’ve known, and still know, are Hoes. There have been plenty of movies and TV shows made about the portrayal of the “hooker with a heart of gold.” I’ll give you an easy guideline to remember: If her fellatio-giving ratio is sensational, then chances are, she’s a Ho. 

Moreover, while we are on the subject, allow me to touch upon an issue that has been very unsettling to me for quite some time now. Ladies, the term “Ho” cannot be used toward the male species and hold the same weight. I understand some of you get tired of you or your friends catchin’ a bad rep and want to reciprocate in a similar fashion. However, consider this example: When boys mess around in high school, people have a tendency to say “boys will be boys,” or pessimistic females will say “all men are dogs.” It’s an expected norm for our sex that, on average, we do tend to be a little promiscuous. But when a girl is freaking and creepin’ in the streets, nobody ever says “girls will be girls” or “all girls are sluts” because that’s not socially acceptable. Let that simmer… The deeper implications behind that are powerful. 

Now back to the issue at hand. I usually don’t use the word “Ho.” Its such a strong word. I like the terms “bop”, “loose”, “jump off”, “cannon”, “barracuda” or any other urban spin-off of “Ho,” primarily because the word “Ho” implies a level of professionalism that is incongruous with a reckless lifestyle. This is insinuating that either she is so tantalizingly magnificent at what she does that she should be getting paid for it, or that she actually DOES get paid for it. Either way it’s a title earned, not given. It surely must be a severe disrespect to the real Hoes out there bustin’ their asses, puttin’ in work, givin’ it their blood, sweat and tears, day in and day out.

For the hunger inside the chick who’s striving to be Top Ho — the HHIC [Head Ho in Charge] – it is a slap in the face to give these faux hoes such a revered title in their field. Furthermore, being a Ho is not just what you are, it’s WHO you are.

For example, you can be an athlete and not necessarily play basketball, or you can play basketball and not necessarily be an athlete. Simply put, just because you may happen to dabble in a certain arena doesn’t give you the credibility to be considered among the professionals. By definition a girl could be a prostitute or just a weekend warrior boppin’ ‘n’ sloppin’ in her spare time; that doesn’t mean she has that unquenchable internal fire to be the very best she can be.

So, with that said, for all those damn damsels out there striving (consciously or unconsciously) to be the HHIC, summa cum Ho-de, the pinnacle of your craft, I salute you. You provide a necessary and vital service to the world’s structure and are not to be undervalued. There’s a reason prostitution is the world’s oldest profession.