So, I bet a lot of you were wondering on Friday, “Where the hell is the Nexus? How can I get through another painful day of class and/or work without that beautiful amalgamation of important news and insightful commentary that I’ve come to expect every weekday? Why God, why must you always take away everything I love?” Just kidding, I know you were all too hung-over to go to class anyway, and didn’t have a clue that there was no Friday paper. Also, God didn’t take the Nexus from you – that was mostly Satan’s doing.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Devil worshippers write an impassioned letter to the editor denouncing the Weatherbox’s horrible misconstruing of the facts. Or maybe they’ll just write on my Facebook wall like J.P. Primeau.