Halloween may be behind us, but like that overly spicy taco from the questionable food van parked down the street, there are still some lingering after effects that some may be hesitant to talk about. But that’s why I’m here. I’ll gladly answer your anonymous questions and politely suggest a better venue for your delicate palette. So grab a fresh taco, pull up a seat, and let’s all Question Authority.

I’m 19 and live in Santa Cruz. I got a ticket for MIP (minor in possession of alcohol) and was told I have to show up in person for court. Can I transfer my case to my local court and take care of it there?

What you are asking to do is request for a “Change of Venue.” This is done when a case is high profile and there is a risk that the local trial or jury will be biased. Therefore to keep the trial fair, it is moved to another city. You can request this of the court for your beer ticket — however, unless you’re O.J. Simpson and are convinced the beer was planted by rogue cops bent on destroying your future career as a spokesman for Hertz Rent-A-Car, it’s not too likely that the court will grant your request. You will have to appear here in Santa Barbara.

I recently posted an ad on Craigslist trying to sell some furniture. I was contacted by someone who sent me a cashier’s check for too much and then told me to just send back the difference via Western Union. This seems fishy. Should I respond?

No, definitely not. You couldn’t get something fishier if you shoved your face up a trout’s… ah, never mind. Just don’t. Whether it’s eBay, Craigslist, or anything you do on the Internet, you need to be skeptical of too-good-to-be-true deals. When someone “accidentally” sends you too much money, and I’m talking about three grand for your Dwight Schrute replica bobblehead with the broken spring, there’s probably a reason. The cashier’s check they sent is probably a fake, and when it bounces a week after you deposit it, you’re out the money you sent back.

Over the last weekend, someone came into our apartment and took my cell phone and some other stuff. Overall, it was only a few dollars worth, so is it still worth reporting to the Foot Patrol?

Yes. Burglaries are a huge problem in Isla Vista. Sometimes it’s just a few small things like some books, a few CDs or even a busted bobblehead. Often it’s laptops, wallets, iPods or other expensive things. Either way, there are people who take advantage of unlocked doors and walk into your apartment, treating it like the free sample table at Costco. They don’t give a carp that your term paper due next week is now gone. Or that your once-in-a-lifetime photo of you and the real Spiderman — not the fake one who was on Del Playa last week — is also gone. It’s just easy money to them. Honestly, one of the best feelings in the world is when we arrest one of these bums. Although, we often make contact or an arrest, find a lot of property, and are unable to identify the rightful owners. We are sure it’s stolen, but unless someone reports it, we have no way of finding the owner and getting it back to them. So please, if someone goes into your apartment and takes your stuff, call us as soon as possible so we can go over there and investigate it. Hopefully we can catch the crook and get your stuff back to you. I can’t tell you how nice it would be to clear out the evidence room of all the excess bobbleheads…