For most, Halloween leaves in its wake little more than a pounding hangover and slashed tires. But that’s not all you can take away from the weekend…
Welcome to the joys of I.V. Halloween. It’s the time of year when our humble little college town becomes a lawless Neverland, minus the elephants and pedophile pop stars — though I swear I saw Mr. Jackson himself last year. The booze flows freely, boobies bounce boisterously and awe-struck out-of-towners scratch their heads and wonder why they didn’t work harder in high school.
The name of the I.V. Halloween game is reinvention. All traces of our everyday identities – inhibitions included – take the traditional drunken cliff dive. Kisses come for free, underwear is optional and a girl can actually be convinced that a 19-year-old wearing a lab coat is a licensed gynecologist. Trust me, he’s not.
While day-to-day I.V. hookups are dope, let’s face it – they can get a bit monotonous. Thankfully, we’ve got one weekend out of the year to turn our sex lives inside out. It’s true, my mask-donning drunkards: On All Hallow’s Eve, all of Isla Vista’s a stage, and you can bet your red fishnets that the men and women will be players.
This weekend, you’re no longer a hormonally charged coed looking for a cheap thrill. You’re a power-drunk Greek deity beguiling a mortal. A suppressed professor seeking a bright student for an intellectual release. A big, strong firefighter looking for a flame to hose. A giant penis in need of a giant hand job. Subtlety isn’t our thing.
But after the weekend has come to a close – after the Little Red Riding Hoods have been eaten by their Big Bad Wolves, when all the life-size M&M’s have melted in each other’s mouths and after the walking electrical plugs pull their long-prongs out of their socket companions – your role-playing fun has just begun!
Halloween gives us the ultimate role-playing template for spicing up our post-holiday nookie. Whether you’re in a monogamous relationship or dabble in a bit of bed hopping, there’s never any harm in changing up the ol’ routine. Even Jenna Jameson occasionally needs to play schoolgirl to keep the fire burning.
Role-play is a fantastic way to live out the most far-fetched fantasies and outlandish sexual journeys – sans the physical, moral or social risks of real life. For example, it’s doubtful you’ll ever make sweet astronaut love in space. You’ve got awful claustrophobia and your liver probably couldn’t stand the trip, you binging bastard. But lament no more. Simply round up some motorcycle helmets, snow boots and active imaginations. Hold tight, baby, it’s blast-off time.
Always had your eye on the mature librarian, but not sure how she’d respond to your pursuit? No worries. Grab a willing gal, a girdle and a shelving cart – you’ll be flipping each other’s pages in no time.
Bedroom theater doesn’t always have to include a foreign destination. It can also aid in serving up a bit of nostalgia. Those in relationships could find an exhilarating way to reenact their first hookup – the deep kiss, the wandering of the hands, the “I don’t usually do this on the first date.” There is something intoxicating about two people who know each other intimately pretending that they don’t.
The glorious thing about role-play is that, much like actual theater, it is a versatile art form. You can easily tie it into a variety of other sexcapades and often do, though you may not even realize it. Every time we talk dirty, we’re playing a role. Every time we dip into S&M, we’re playing a role. When we have sex in public, engage in group sex or even engage in a healthy dose of self love, we’re exploring roles beyond the conventional in ‘n’ out routine.
With all the uncharted role-playing territory aching to be discovered, why limit your conquests to a single weekend in October? I challenge you to keep the spirit of Halloween alive all year ’round. If anything, it can help you get your money’s worth out of that $2,500 Sarah Palin dominatrix suit.