If I could pick up a strong wireless signal anywhere in the world, I would be a happy camper. I think it’s a bit disgraceful that there isn’t more Wi-Fi available on campus. Come on, people in charge, it’s 2008 and we’re a big, fancy university. The least you could do is give me is the ability to check my Facebook from any lecture hall. Gosh knows I can only pay attention to art history for so long.

But maybe university officials aren’t putting wireless throughout campus because people are allergic to the Wi-Fi signals.

“That’s dumb, you’re dumb. Wi-Fi allergy? That’s a not real thing.”

Hold your tongue! Some people in Santa Fe, N.M., are complaining to their local government that they’re allergic to wireless internet signals, and that installing Wi-Fi is discrimination.

No. Just no. This can’t be for real. Being a hardcore investigative journalist, I dug around the Internet a bit to find out if this “Wi-Fi allergy” business was real. By golly, there’s a whole site dedicated to it! Technically, a term for it is “electro sensitivity” and it applies to people who are affected by various sources of electricity, like cell phones, computers, power lines, microwaves and the like. Campaigners claim nearly 500 people are affected, and possibly more. Debbie Bird gets painful skin rashes from even the tiniest bit of exposure to electricity sources, and has electro-proofed her house to keep her allergies under control.

OK, I was going to make fun of these people, but now I feel bad. Read that Debbie Bird link and tell me you don’t feel a bit sorry for her. I mean, I think it’s sort of a hypochondriac thing these “electro-sensitive” people have going on, but I’m no doctor. Whatever the case, until they prove Wi-Fi allergies are real and actually affect a significant number of people on this campus, I’m still going to beg the university for Wi-Fi access all over campus.