The following article appears as part of the Nexus’ April Fools’ Day edition.
Hoping to capitalize off of the success of shows like “Laguna Beach” and “Newport Harbor,” MTV has announced its newest program in its line of beach-town-themed reality series: “Isla Vista Beach.”
According to MTV Producer Sol D. Mysole, the new show will fall right in between its Monday lineup, which includes “Engaged, Underaged and Cooking Meth In The Back of My Parents’ Trailer” and “True Life: I’m A Model/Actress/Stripper.” The new show is set to premiere on May 2.
Mysole said he was drawn to do a show on Isla Vista after being part of a camera crew that followed “Newport Harbor” starlet Chrissy Schwartz to I.V. after her acceptance into UCSB.
“We had no idea there was a place with more silly, superficial drama than Orange County,” Mysole said. “But then we found Isla Vista and we knew it was the perfect place for our next show. I mean, on our first day here someone beat up our driver and another girl puked on my shoes from the balcony.”
“It was the most amazing Tuesday morning of my life,” he added.
MTV representative Bill Chaser said he was very excited by the prospect of the new show.
“The residents of Isla Vista are in touch with their sexuality and are not afraid to express themselves,” Chaser said. “They also own a lot of expensive stuff that we can sell to our audience during the commercials, and we get great action in the 35-to-60-year-old male demographic when we do shows featuring hot, young chicks.”
One I.V. resident, Missy Lawrence, said she hopes to be featured on the show in order to strengthen her résumé for when she searches for jobs after graduation next year.
“I’ve already been on ‘Girls Gone Wild’ and ‘Steamy Coeds,'” Lawrence said. “I’m too experienced for DVD now. I’m ready to take it to the next level.”
When asked to comment on the upcoming show, UCSB Chancellor Henry T. Yang said he is worried about how it will affect the university’s image.
“First Playboy, now this?” Yang said. “You know what? I give up. Do what you want. I quit. Besides, I hear ‘American Idol’ is holding auditions in Los Angeles this week.”