As a cliché girl with a romantic side, I have been picturing my marriage proposal since I first had a crush on Spencer in fifth grade. I just hope it doesn’t turn out like any of these. These are four marriage proposals gone so horribly wrong that I literally cringed when I watched them. The first guy, Dallas, in all his brilliance, decides that he’d like to propose to his girlfriend, Bridget, through the lens of his camera. As he gets down on one knee – handling the camera at the same time – Bridget’s face gets really confused looking.

Then she gives the worst response ever: “Oh my god. What the fuck are you doing?” Bravely – and perhaps stupidly – Dallas proceeds to ask Bridget to marry him. Bridget kind of laughs awkwardly and goes, “No! Turn that off.”

The second guy, Mike, has enough balls to propose to his girlfriend, Lynn, live on a late night talk show. He kneels down by Lynn and pops the question. Lynn sits there with an unchanging expression, hands folded on her lap. Poor Mike kind of tries to pry Lynn’s hands open so he can shove the ring on, but Lynn just goes, “Um, can we talk about this later or something?” Hello, awkward turtle moment. The host kind of has an oh-crap-this-wasn’t-supposed-to-happen look on his face, and Mr. DJ off in the corner attempts to fix things by playing some sick beats. The producers decide to cut to commercial, probably because they can’t show Mike killing himself on TV.

Guy number three goes for a “Say Anything” moment. I knew from the beginning that this one wouldn’t work out because nobody can be as lovable as John Cusack in that movie. Cusack-rip-off’s girlfriend comes to her window and screeches, “What are you doing?” in this ugly redneck sort of way. At one point, she asks if he’s really proposing to her. “What do you think this is?” he responds. A really, really bad idea.

Number four goes for the classic propose-at-a-basketball-game technique. With so many people watching, she can’t say no. Turns out, she really can’t: instead of responding to his proposal, she literally runs off the court without saying a thing.

Clip five isn’t a rejected marriage offer, but just a botched proposal. Chris Myers, the host of ESPN’s Up Close, is interviewing a Boise State football player after the team’s victory. At the end of the interview, Chris Myers goes, “And I know you’re going to propose to your girlfriend, so congratulations.” Wow, Chris, way to ruin the most special moment of this guy’s life ever. Great memories to show the grandkids … or the whole Internet community.