Roommates. They can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I was hoping to spend my years here at UCSB with only my friends – that turned out to be just a dream. Three bed/2 bath house, decent-sized kitchen, good-sized living room, front yard, back yard, wrap around deck, FREE and PLENTY of parking for you and 5 guests for only $1500 per month. Too good to be true? Maybe. The house is great, but it comes with one downfall: a 40+ year-old man with some issues.

Nicely enough, his room and bath are on the opposite side of the house, yet he somehow seems to drive me nuts. The next time a slightly irritating roommate tells you that he/she has an idea, turn around and walk away. It can’t be good. With plenty of parking there shouldn’t be a hassle, but this guy has an issue with control. It is bad enough when, in Isla Vista someone steals your parking spot, but imagine if someone was trying to force you to park in the bushes because he wants room for his girlfriend to park when she comes over. That didn’t fly well with me or my friend. I now have the prime spot out front.

Other “ideas” include paying to fix up the house with all new appliances. However, considering I rent, I don’t have the money to blow on renovating this place – especially when there is a half-empty bar that needs to be filled with liquor. Speaking of booze, this guy claims to drink like a fish and has a huge locked cabinet full of liquor outside, so why is it that he decides to drink all my vodka and beer? Now I have to lock my liquor in my closet and keep a close eye on my beer. I may have to get an alarm system.

He also has these “cute” little stirring straws with white hearts at the top and a bunch of fancy drinking cups, which he seems to have an obsession with. Does it really matter if we have a “bitchin'” cupboard with fancy drinkware compulsively turned upside down? The answer to that: no. For some reason, though, I now have a “fancy cup cupboard”. I know it is kind of mean, but today I went in there and turned all my cups right side up and shoved a bunch of random shot glasses in the empty spaces. I can’t wait to hear about his “idea” on how to change that.

Bills. There are always too many, and regardless of who actually pays them, no one wants to get screwed. What kind of sneaky bastard tries to pull off splitting in half a month’s bills when we weren’t even living there at the time? My new roommate did, and this not only shows that he is an ass, but it shows that he thinks we are dumb. It is kind of hard to scam someone for money when there is written proof that he is trying to screw us over. Once our money is returned – which is being demanded in cash – I am hoping, maybe, we can get back to somewhat livable terms. It has been one month, and there is already this much drama? I am hoping the kinks get sorted because I hate moving and I don’t want to spend my spring break moving my shit for the third time in less than a year. Good luck to the rest of you with your roommate woes, and remember, it could be worse.