Pimping ain’t easy and neither is being a Cuban. I know this to be a fact and to all fellow Cubans, I quote the words of Bill “Slick Willy the Teflon Man” Clinton: “I feel your pain.”
We’re probably the most misunderstood ethnic group to walk the Earth other than Israelis. I can’t tell you how many times idiots wearing Che Guevara T-shirts have asked me if Che was a wonderful leader. My answer: “If he was, then why’d so many Cubans flee that Banana Republic of a hellhole?” Duh. Get a clue, lefties: Che is dead (thank you, Felix Rodriguez) and so is the commie dream. Then there are times I get asked if I personally knew Ricky Ricardo of “I Love Lucy” fame. Yeah, we’re old bros, even used to play a few rounds of dominos down on Calle Ocho in Miami all the time. Want to see my conga skills? BABALU!
But I digress – back to being misunderstood. Take the plight of my Cuban compadre Michael Lambright and his out-of-context comment that drew fire last week by the politically correct police known as Associated Students. You’d think they got their fusillade skills from Guevara himself, the murderer of thousands of Cubans by his firing squads. Yeah, Guevara was a real brave fighting man, especially when the opponent had his or her hands tied, was down on his or her knees and was outnumbered and outgunned. Being innocent of crimes against the state was an added plus, as many of his victims were just that. Their only crime was actually questioning the state.
But again I digress. As Ricky would often say to his beloved Lucy, “Plees, I can esplain!” Some time ago, I approached a certain Latino interest group on campus to possibly become a member. It seemed worthwhile. I was young and dumb, which equates idealistic. When it was discovered that I was Cuban, the proverbial door slammed on my face. Why, you ask? I was told that as a Cuban, I’m not a “true Latino,” and as a person of Caribbean descent, they didn’t know what I would say. In other words, it was an issue of toeing the line, something Cubans aren’t known for. Sure, we Cubans speak our minds… but who doesn’t? The issue should be who doesn’t allow you to speak your mind.
I was then referred to another campus ethnic society that also kindly turned my request down because of the “European side of my family.” Hey, we’re the Heinz 57 of the Caribbean! In my blood there’s African, Basque, Canary Islands, German, Moroccan, native Cuban Ciboney Indian, Spaniard and probably others that I can’t even think of. But the focus was on the “white” (i.e. European) aspect of my family. What, my olive skin ain’t enough for y’all?
The sad truth is things haven’t changed in many ways. Cubans are still the most misunderstood people, and political correctness runs rampant to the point of imitating what’s called in Castro’s Cuba el comite. For all non-Latino speakers, that’s the committee, which is the neighborhood watchdog group that forces everyone to toe the line. Pissed off at a neighbor? Tell el comite that he or she has been exhibiting democratic or free speech tendencies – or even a mind of their own. I guarantee you los milicianos the military police, will whisk away your neighbor in the middle of the night. Got to love a free society – but Cuba ain’t one and neither are the pillars of political correctness.
So I come back to Michael Lambright and A.S. scolding him for calling them out on their own shenanigans. Michael, it’s alright bro, tu eres uno de nosotros – you are one of us. Viva Cuba Libre! As for A.S. and their PC style of modern day commie-ism: Is anybody really shocked, surprised or whatever?