Once upon a time, it was considered questionable for girls and boys to hold hands on the first date, much less kiss. My, have times changed! Now the questions are, “Dude, did you screw her? Did she give you head? Are her tits real?” I have much to say about this huge shift in mating/dating dynamics. I realize that wanting to dissuade rambunctious, invincible college students from having random sex could cause a lot of turbulence, but I think a lot of you intelligent party people are open-minded enough to give me a fair chance.

First of all, I believe that random sex is not as pleasurable as sex within a strongly committed relationship because your partner probably has selfish motives. Wait, what? I’ve heard way too many stories from unsatisfied girls whose partners failed to be sensitive to their desires. While their partners were occupied with getting it up and finishing the job, the girls were so irritated and bored that all they could think about was what they were going to eat for breakfast the next morning. Why should your hookup care about your needs when they don’t even care about you as a person?

Many people – mostly guys – feel that they have to have sex with tons of people in order to improve their performance and keep their partner satisfied when they finally decide to commit. The truth is, when you’re with someone, you grow sexually. There’s no need to have 30 chicks under your belt. The less experience you both have, the more you can explore together, which creates that much more intimacy and romance. From experience, I know how rewarding it is to be in love with your soul mate and lose your virginity at the same time. It was an unparalleled adventure in exploring, experiencing pleasure and, for me, embracing his amazing spirit. Having less (in my case, hopefully zero) people to compare your partner to is definitely a positive thing. There is less room for frustration, resentment and the occasional shouting of your ex-boyfriend’s name during intercourse.

I must also throw in a negative experience, just so you can rest assured that my love life is not always filled with daisies and roses. My boyfriend, who we’ll call Joey, had never had sex before me, but fooled around with his past two girlfriends. He was easily able to make them orgasm manually, but he couldn’t seem to work his magic on me, even with extensive practice. Because of these past experiences and expectations, he got really down on himself for not being able to please me like he thought he should. He began questioning his masculinity – and trust me, I’ve never seen Joey that sad in my life.

College is a place for fun and debauchery, but ultimately we all want the same things in life. Everyone has an innate desire to be loved and understood. Is random sex really a way to fill the void of love in your life? Can your fuck buddy really understand you if he doesn’t even take the time to remember your name?

Recently, I got into a conversation with my good friend about sexuality. She told me about all the fun she has had with her purple vibrator. She said it enables her to know her body. I thought about this for a few seconds and then gave her an inquiring look. I told her that Joey knows my body 10 times better than me. She argued that I should be the one to know my body better than anyone, but I didn’t agree. Why should I spend time scoping out my body when sex is meant to be shared between two souls? This leads me to another point: Sex is emotional, physical and spiritual. By taking your pants off, you are agreeing to become a part of your partner and to let your partner be a part of you. Can you honestly say that you stand for everything your partner is?

I apologize if I have killed your boner or your puffy pussy, but next time you’re about to get down with someone you hardly know, think about what I’ve told you. If hookups are all you can get, well then, I feel bad for you.