Assault on Precinct 6500
Thursday, Feb. 15, 10:55 p.m. -I.V. Foot Patrol officers stopped on the corner of Del Playa Drive and Camino Pescadero observed a group of pedestrians arguing with a 20-year-old man.
The pedestrians told officers that the man had been throwing water balloons at the group from the front yard of his residence.
As the officers conversed with the passersby, the balloon bomber ran out into the middle of the street and shouted a challenge at his soaked targets.
After the deputies ordered the suspect to go inside his home two times, the man retreated back to his property.
The officers then did some reconnaissance work and began questioning the subject.
Eventually, the man admitted to drinking six beers in 45 minutes that evening, but informed the officers that he did not believe this was any reason to send an innocent man like himself to jail.
Since the deputies were not convinced that the man was sober enough to cease his watery onslaught, they arrested him for public intoxication.
The man was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.
Blindsided by Love
Saturday, Feb. 17, 1:49 a.m. – Deputies walking eastbound on the 6500 block of Trigo Road watched as a woman walking ahead of them staggered and stumbled from side to side, bumping into parked cars as she walked beside a male companion.
The officers then witnessed the man take the 18-year-old beauty into his arms in a romantic sweep – and then shove his tongue down her throat before knocking her into a stop sign.
An officer contacted the woman and told the man to leave the scene without further incident. He then began questioning the slurring female subject, who admitted to drinking just “a sip” of alcohol.
By the officer’s estimation, the subject had consumed more than a sip, as she reeked of booze and could barely speak. However, the woman did manage to tell the deputy where she lived – informing him that her address was “Number 1066674 Road, Abrego.”
The officer immediately recognized the imaginary address, as several I.V. partygoers he had encountered had previously cited the same or similar locations as their own residences.
This helped the deputy confirm that the woman was too wasted to care for her own safety, so he arrested her for public intoxication.
The woman was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where she was housed, pending sobriety.
He’s Got Friends in No Places
Saturday, Feb. 18, 12:57 a.m. – An officer patrolling the 6500 block of Del Playa Drive observed a 19-year-old man holding himself up against a light pole.
As the deputy approached the subject, the man looked in the officer’s direction and immediately fell to straight to the ground.
The officer started speaking with the man, in hopes of finding out if he was all right. But the deputy soon discovered that the man’s fall just moments before had rendered him incoherent – or perhaps it had been the alcohol.
The man continued having trouble conversing with the officer, responding with vague answers to most of his questions. When the deputy asked him where his friends were, the man said, “I guess they left me.”
The lonely lush was arrested for public intoxication and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.