Highway to the Drunken Zone
Saturday, Jan. 20, 3:04 a.m. – An officers patrolling the 900 block of Embarcadero del Norte was flagged down by a CSO who reported that a 19-year-old man was passed out in front of DŽjˆ Vu cafe.

When the deputy arrived at the location, he contacted the subject, who appeared busy as he carefully studied a piece of trash, which he picked up off the ground.

As the deputy contacted the man, he noted numerous signs that the man was intoxicated by alcohol – including bloodshot, watery eyes, and the infamous, lingering smell of urine and booze.

The officer began questioning the man, who said he was from Orange County, and was planning to drive home in a little while.

The man then mapped out his route for the officer, saying he would drive down “Isla Vista Street” and out of “SLO City” to his home.

Since the man was clearly clueless about where he was or where he was going, he was arrested for public intoxication.

The subject was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Please Discontinue Use of Cell Phones at This Time
Saturday, January 20, 4:12 a.m. – A deputy driving in a marked patrol vehicle saw a man walking northbound on Embarcadero del Mar cross the street and fall face-first into a stop sign.

The 22-year-old man stood up, and continued down the street, leaning on a wall to steady his balance.

The officer got out of his car and approached the man, who ignored the officer completely and began talking on his cell phone.

The deputy loudly announced himself to the man, and requested to speak with him immediately. The man turned and began to stumble away, acting as if the officer was not present.

The officer then grabbed the subject’s right arm in order to stop him. The man pulled away from the officer and plopped onto the sidewalk, where he continued his conversation on the phone.

When the man was finished chatting, he looked to the officer and told him he was “completely fucked up,” refusing to give the officer any more information.

The man was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

I Want to Ride His Bicycle
Saturday, January 27, 11:50 p.m. – A deputy observed a 21-year-old man walking across the street from the I.V. Foot Patrol station carrying a bicycle.

The officer overheard the man loudly bragging to bystanders that he had found the bike, despite one student’s suggestion that he should be careful because officers were watching him.

As the man continued to show off his new wheels, he started to sway and stagger around the sidewalk, still holding onto the bike.

The officer went across street and contacted the subject, who appeared to be extremely intoxicated. The officer observed that the subject’s new bike was still bound by a U-Lock, leading the deputy to wonder if he actually found the item, or merely stole the cycle in a drunken stupor.

The deputy detained the man and asked if he knew who owned the bike. The subject said he could not remember where he found the bike, nor whom it belonged to, then said, “I’ve had a lot to drink. I don’t even know that much.”

Though the information the man continued to provide the deputy with was extremely vague, it was in fact clear enough to assure the officer that the subject was incapable of caring for himself, others or even the bike.

The man was arrested for public intoxication and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.