If you’re looking for amazing gadgetry and technological excitement, don’t see the new James Bond flick. This edition of the spy series repeatedly hypes up such new-fangled tools as text messaging and GPS. The coolest thingamajig in Bond’s Aston Martin is not, as he hoped, a vagina-seeking missile, but rather, a defibrillator.
The villain is just as hopeless. Instead of shooting a laser beam at Bond’s crotch, he [spoiler warning] whacks him in the balls with a rope. Repeatedly.

Tuesday’s Forecast: Q gets to work on the vagina-seeking missile, cleverly disguised as a penis.