I know you’re a freshman, but what am I?

Well, I’m Kaitlin Pike, the editor in chief of this fine publication; thank you for asking. As I sit here connecting the dots of this introductory article, the Puppet Band plays a slow beat with Chicky Baby rapping right along. I love jazz. I love it so much I think I’m going to marry it.

Forgive me stealing from Paul Reubens – the man inspires the imagination more than a gaggle of Greek muses. That, and Sports Editor Monique Moyal already used “Blue’s Clues” as the theme to her article.

You see, boys and girls, this issue – made especially for you – revolves around children’s television shows. Most of you are legally adults – something your parents should respect and the cops certainly know, – but we thought a little nostalgia wouldn’t hurt. Because of that, we inserted into this issue all your favorite friends and places, from Mr. Rogers and the Power Rangers to Sesame Street and Eureka’s Castle.

We also inserted all the information you’ll need to hit the ground running – or at least walking – with dignified direction when you arrive. Bike path rules, shopping locations, research opportunities – it’s all here, and it’s all about life at UCSB. As you’ll hopefully find, the Daily Nexus knows its community better than the King of Cartoons knows old animated shorts. We do have quite the edge, because while Pee-wee had Globey the Globe and Chairy the Chair, we have Printy the Printer, Notebooky the Notebook, Desky the Desk and Martini the Glass.

Beyond the cheap puns and witty editorials, we also hope to offer you some savvy advice. I’ve tried my best with the following.

The secret word of the day, and for the next four or maybe five or six years, is “success.” I won’t define the intangible, but thankfully, you’ll be doing that yourself. Succ… I mean that word… depends on what you want, not what your mom or dad wants, not what your friends or counselors from high school want and certainly not what I want. We’re as different as cabbage and pie. Trying to become an attractive redheaded political science major who runs the best newspaper in the known world might not be in the cards for you. And that’s okay.

But hopefully, you will copy me to a certain extent. Try getting involved early on. Make good friends. Find another attractive political science – or whatever – major. Go to the beach. Drive aimlessly. Attend a few parties. Study. Take a sailing lesson. Walk around the University Art Museum. Eat curry chicken. Attend interesting classes, even if you’re not enrolled. Learn to sew. Work. Play. Sleep.

It is only after some experimentation that you will have a firm grip on what that secret word means to you.

Just try not to make a damn fool of yourself while finding out. Seriously, we have reporters everywhere; we’ll catch you.

Speaking of which, if you’d like to join the Nexus playhouse, come to one of our training sessions – dates for which will sporadically appear in the pages of the Daily Nexus throughout the year. We’ll get you set up to write, take photos, copy edit, draw, critique or dance on a table top. Whichever you prefer.

At any rate, I wish – no, Jambi, not now – you the best of luck at UCSB. It’s a great place next to the funkiest little town, which I wholeheartedly recommend you visit frequently. You really have to try hard not to enjoy life here, but you’ll hopefully not have to try very hard to be a huge success.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Kaitlin Pike
Editor in Chief

Contact Information:
eic@dailynexus.com
805-893-2691
Offices under Storke Tower