Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, shot!

Oh, if only those words reminded me of heckling opposing players in a high school game.

But, alas, it was Brent Barry that went all high school on all of us Kings fans. Hasn’t Sacramento had enough playoff torment over the years?

Apparently not, according to Barry.

Of all the ways to blow a game – and, over the years, the Kings have gotten this down to a science – Barry, one-time three-point champion, squelches the game-two upset bid by throwing garbage at the rim. And it went in? It was laughable. It looked like it defied the laws of physics, much like Chris Webber’s three-point try to tie game seven of the T-Wolves series two years ago, which somehow went in and then, unexplainably, went out. Barry’s shot was similar, but instead of bouncing out, it took an excruciatingly long time to drop in.

Hell, I thought as soon as Robert Horry came in with 10 seconds left it was over. At least he’s a coldblooded machine, but had he beat us, now that would be laughable. But instead it was the kind-hearted Barry, bricking a wide-open shot that, for the-love-of Samaki Walker, went in.

Should the Kings have even been in that situation?

Probably not.

They were without Ron Artest – the man who single-handedly turned around the fortunes of the lackluster Kings of during the first half of the season due to an unwarranted suspension. They were hypothetically without two-time all-star Brad Miller, who, despite being a large, seven-foot white dude with noticeably ugly tattoos, has been a non-factor through two games. Mike Bibby was nowhere to be found, making a whopping one field goal through regulation. But he did make a bunch of turnovers. Way to go Mike!

So looking at the box score alone, there’s no way in hell they should have been in a position to win that game. But, oddly enough, despite literal and vicarious disappearing acts by the Kings’ big three, a linebacker disguised as guard/forward Bonzi Wells, a skinny dude in Kevin Martin whose jump shot makes basketball purists cringe and a dude who was playing only his second playoff game in 10 seasons, somehow had the Kings on the verge of stealing that illusive home-court advantage from the heavily favored Spurs.

But instead that sneaky little Brent Barry bastard came in and made a shot I guarantee he will never make again. Hell, if Barry and I took that same shot again 200 times, I bet I would have a better chance of making his exact shot. He’s just that good of a shooter, and I’m just that bad of one. But instead, he threw up trash, and got the roll.

I guess that’s just how Brent Barry rolls.

Sean Swaby is no longer the Daily Nexus Sports Editor, he’s through with all sports. He’s giving up sports journalism to focus on becoming a professional garbage man, thanks to his new idol, Brent Barry.