Some men have a new pickup line. We’ve come a long way from cheesy references to stars in eyes and angelic origins. “I have a condom,” they say. Like that’s supposed to make me swoon? Because nothing really turns me on more than a Boy Scout with a nympho streak.

“I have a condom.” It’s a loaded statement – a proposition, a fact and an assumption. Perhaps some women consider this appropriate and even chivalrous or honorable. Another woman may see it as a sign that he’s prepared and willing to protect you – or whoever else is his easiest target for sex that night – from unwanted consequences of sexual activity. Personally, I see it as cockiness. This guy thinks he’s that damn good that he is compelled to carry a condom at all times – just in case, of course – because, really, there are hordes of women lining up to screw them. What a stud. Please, spare me.

I’m sick of this. I’m tired of friendliness being misconstrued as some clear signal of potential sex later in the night. My naivet