Apparently, everyone hated me yesterday. Why the masses of UCSB voiced their distaste for my offerings remains beyond the ‘human’s comprehension. I got girls wet. I cleaned dudes hats. I gave people an excuse to skip the first day of school. I mean, it is spring quarter, who actually wants to go to class?

Tuesday’s forecast: The ‘human takes no mercy, causing so many leaks at the Nexus that the paper must shut down, allowing the staff an excuse to get tossed on a Tuesday. Cheers!