Jagged, painful turds to the police for trying to end decades of biker rule with a ticket-happy crackdown.

Safe, dry tulips to the local groups and establishments that contributed aid money for tsunami victims in Southeast Asia.

Sheep turds to A.S. for supporting a free speech-squelching ban of army recruiters from campus because a few adults told you to.

Fresh, warm tulips to Coffee Cups for finally ending Isla Vista’s maple bar drought.

Eroded turds to Brooks Firestone for nixing the deal that would have ensured that Claire’s Park remain undeveloped.

Darkside tulips to James Baron for pissing off more UCSB students and administrators than our sex, booze and drug-filled excuse for a daily publication ever could.

Hungover beer turds to the county and IVRPD for requiring permits to get liquored up in I.V. parks with our homeless neighbors.

Exotic tulips to the Academic Senate for getting rid of that Western Civilization general education requirement — graduation, here we come.

Gnarly, wet turds to the weather for drenching us this season with a record-setting deluge. Go back to Seattle, you asshole rain.