OK, so I’m not responsible for all the rain. Really. Quite the contrary. I’m annoyed just like you are; I had to buy an umbrella. Ironically, the weatherhuman loses umbrellas all the time.

By the way, you know the phrase, “Let a smile be your umbrella”? It’s crap. A smile is a really dumb shape for an umbrella. You’ll be walking around with a bowl of water over your head.

Monday’s forecast: 80 percent chance I’ve already lost my umbrella and am forced to frown.