Well, if last week’s election tells us that things aren’t going to change in America, I guess we can’t expect 40 to 70 percent of young men to suddenly stop ejaculating prematurely, now can we? But I mean, really, can you blame them? They don’t want to come later – they want to come right now, and if you think that convincing a man to put off having an orgasm for a few minutes is easy, then you’ve got another thing coming.

The term premature ejaculation has a couple of different definitions: coming within the first few minutes of sex, coming before you even get to hump or just coming before your partner. But while people put the label on a lot of different scenarios, what you need to know is that if you are coming before you want to and you can’t control it, you are ejaculating prematurely.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, fellas; the unruly releases are not some sort of weird physical condition that most of us have been stricken with. In fact, unlike most sexual conditions, premature ejaculation is almost always psychological – an affliction with its roots embedded deep within our pubescent fears of getting caught while masturbating. Remember those days back when we first started to get boners, making mayonnaise at almost every chance we got? It seems like only yesterday… or, in my case, August. But that’s where this condition starts: We used to whack so fast in the past that now we can’t last in the sack. But it’s not permanent, no matter how bad you think it is. You can make it go away, just like when you wake up with the words “complete tool” written across your ugly forehead with a Sharpie.

“Well, Dave, I started masturbating when I picked up this paper and I came before I read the weather. So tell me, what can I do to stop it?”

It seems that the most common response to premature ejaculation among men is to distract themselves – to think of “baseball on a cold day” or to imagine Bill O’Reilly masturbating into a Ni