Perhaps there’s a sinister explanation for why the county has supported a sea wall for Goleta Beach, where no one lives, but not in I.V., where people’s houses are gradually, literally, falling into the ocean. I doubt it, though. Conspiracies require covert, efficient and organized operations, something that government bureaucracies don’t excel at. Let’s face it; if the county can’t actively help I.V. with basic things like street and sewer repairs, could it get its act together well enough to actively screw us over? Probably not… unless… it hired MacGyver as a fake county geologist!

Monday’s forecast: The crop circles forming in Pelican Park are also nothing to worry about.