Who wants to do a good deed by helping out the ‘human? Nobody? Ok, who wants to be the ‘human for a day and say whatever the hell you want to the whole campus? That’s better.

Your mission: Help find the weathercycle, which was stolen in I.V. two nights ago. It’s a black cruiser with chrome handlebars, flames on the fender, a red rim in front and a white one in back.

The prize: You get to write the Weather for a day. Email me the tip that leads me to the bike, or just bring the bike and the thief’s head to the Nexus office, and this space is yours.

Tuesday’s forecast: Hopefully, we learn how easy a united community can stop crime. We’ll probably learn that, no matter how unfunny the ‘human can be, you probably couldn’t do any better.