Our cheerleading team is having tryouts soon. I’m told you’re guaranteed a spot on the squad if you can name one UCSB team worth cheering about.
Just kidding. We have a fine athletic program. It’s just that when I think cheerleaders, I think football. And when I think football, I think, “Why didn’t I go to a real college?”
Tuesday’s forecast: The weatherhuman does not endorse the formation of a UCSB football team. Getting to the front of an IV keg line is hard enough already.
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“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
