I’ve been hearing a lot about the new movie, “The Passion of the Christ.” I was wondering, though: Why “the” Christ? I guess there could be confusion if they left “the” out. “Nice to meet you, I’m Bill Christ. No, not the Christ from the movie. That’s about a totally different guy.”

The movie is apparently based on a best seller. I’ve heard it’s a good book. Get it? Good Book? Aw, fuck off, it’s Friday.

Friday’s forecast: Cheap jokes and a bottle of cheap booze. Or I could take those bucks and buy a Bible. Yeah – right after I walk across the lagoon.