Girl-girl action.

Yeah, I just started a column with a fragment. But I also just succeeded in getting the attention of almost every male eye crossing this page. Shameless, but effective.

Effective because nearly every man I know digs seeing two pretty girls locking lips. And for some reason, most girls find that confusing.

“Why would you want to see two girls? If they’re lesbians, then that means you can’t have them.”

Well, the fact is, I can’t have most straight girls I see. But that is beside the point.

To me the appeal is simple, so damn simple it is almost mathematical. Here’s the equation: Take one sexual situation – kissing. Subtract one unattractive dude, add one beautiful girl, and that equals double sexy. Not perfect math or logic, I know. But whoever said lust followed any rules?

The ladies might counter that kissing shouldn’t be considered sexual, because the two deeds more often than not are not connected. Well, the fact is that men often find sexual connections where women find none. Why, just the other day I was passing through my living room and accidentally brushed up against the couch, and – ahem, sorry about that.

Another difference is how when a woman sees two other women kissing she thinks “lesbian.” Men have a slightly different thought process – less judgmental, less concrete. It even sounds like a poem: “She and she plus me makes three.”

The threesome fantasy lives in the mind of nearly every man, despite the fact that nearly every man who actually finds that mythical land returns to say it’s not that great; it’s all hype – I don’t believe those assholes either.

The fact is that two kissing women could very well be lesbians. The fact is also that every time a man sees any woman, he believes, if only for a split second, “She wants me.” So they could be lesbians; they could be bi; they could be confused – all you know for sure is that there is no cock-block, and therefore, possibility exists.

Women also will argue that seeing guys kissing isn’t a turn-on for them. Maybe that’s because it just doesn’t happen that often, because the same drunken party hordes that often goad or bribe girls into kissing might start throwing blows if they saw two men going at it. Definitely unfortunate, definitely wrong, but it might be the reason.

Travis Hunter is the Daily Nexus university editor.