Anyone who witnessed Arnold in his campaign for governor knows he has little to offer the public, other than questionable catch phrases in a silly accent. But if we can look at history we know that those who can put up a good front with little actual experience in politics are not so bad off.
After all, as diabolical as our political parties are at manipulation, they would not send a recognizable idiot to office for fear of ruining their reputations. They would send an army of not-as-big idiots to do his governing for him. And is that so bad?
If a group of advisors is the real drive behind this political machine, then it is democracy at work! A rule of many in an executive position: The aggregate of any group of political puppet masters will not always bring about the best outcome, of course, but it would have a far greater likelihood of not making an all-out policy blunder. And it would probably dilute any radical conservative government. After all, these are republicans; what real evil could come from an invisible army of them?
Now that I think about it, couldn’t the Republicans have chosen a more distinguished and pleasant-looking face to represent them? His co-star in “Terminator 3,” for example? I would vote for her faster than I could show her my “O” face. I haven’t wanted to fuck a robot so bad since C-3PO.
On the other hand, if we learned anything from T3, it’s that we cannot trust a machine to be in control. Since being elected, the super group known as the “Governator” is now virtually impossible to stop. It is impervious to scrutiny. If a major mistake is made, there is a strong probability that it will not weaken its power; the diffusion of responsibility has Arnold standing on a table with an infinite number of legs. When a head of the hydra is cut, two more political lackies will take its place.
After all, when George W. Bush lied in his state of the union address trying to legitimize war, then denied that it was him, no one really seemed to question it. Why was it so believable that George wasn’t responsible for anything he was saying? The general sentiment must have been, “Well, he can barely pronounce the words he’s reading – how could he have thought of them?”
Then press secretary Ari Fleischer, the magician behind the transformation of Osama bin Laden into Saddam Hussein, suddenly had a lot more time to spend with his family. And with him went the scandal.
On an important side note, one exciting prospect of Arnold’s inauguration is a little-known animal law. He could be the vindicator of all those outlaws in the state of California who own ferrets. That’s right, despite their furry cuddliness, these nocturnal rascals are illegal to own as pets.
As a known ferret advocate – he owned one and shared it with his class in “Kindergarten Cop – how could he not free these legal neglectees?
Don’t let Arnold’s puppeteers pull him away from his responsibilities.
Jono Szalay is a senior biopsychology major.