The two things I love most are alcohol and the police. So, it is the first sentence of my article and I have already exaggerated. It is not actually alcohol I love best, but rather talking about alcohol.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional pi–a colada or Smirnoff Ice, but what I really enjoy is the gratification of sharing information about alcohol. I am one of those fast-talking, easily excitable people who likes to say, “Guess what I know?” and then impart knowledge to an unsuspecting person.

So, guess what I know about alcohol and our campus? Four thousand UCSB students do not drink alcohol. Interesting, eh? Did you know that 58 percent of UCSB students drink zero, one, two, three or four drinks per week? A drink would be classified as one 1-ounce shot, one 12-ounce beer or one 4- to 5-ounce glass of wine.

Now let’s move on from the lovely subject of alcohol onto another fun one: the police. I love the police and all law enforcement officials in general. I realize that there may be some skeptics out there wondering why I love the police.

Guess why? The police are always there whenever we need them, they protect us and you have to admit that they have great uniforms. Oh yeah! Gotta love those sexy uniforms.

Guess what you get when you mix alcohol and the police? That was a trick question. The answer is that it really depends on the circumstances. If you are biking in Isla Vista under the influence of alcohol and causing a safety hazard, the police could give you a BUI. Guess what? You would lose your driver’s license for a year.

If you are over 21 years old and driving under the influence of alcohol, the California Highway Patrol can give you a DUI if your blood alcohol concentration (BAC) is 0.08, or if there is any alcohol in your system and your driving is impaired. If you are under the age of 21 and driving under the influence of alcohol, any BAC is unacceptable and you lose your license for a year. Guess what happens if you refuse to take a Breathalyzer test to determine your BAC? Refusal is an automatic admission of guilt and the penalties apply.

So, what if you are over 21 and drinking responsibly and in moderation? The police will not be giving you costly tickets, but rather protecting you from the people who are making irresponsible choices and threatening your safety.

So you can see this is the reason I love the police: They protect me.

So, guess what else? May 28 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. in Storke Plaza, there will be an event called Safe Graduation where you can all come out and win fantastic prizes by just signing a pledge to not drink and drive while celebrating the end of the school year. And the best part? You can hang with, or ask questions to the IVFP and CHP officers present.

If you have any questions about alcohol, would like free and confidential alcohol counseling, or would like a presentation on alcohol, contact S.T.A.R. (Students Teaching Alcohol and other drug Responsibility) at Student Health Service: 893-2263.

All stats are based on the 2001 Core Alcohol & Drug Survey.

Janine Boomer is a senior law and society major and a member of S.T.A.R.