Top Five Reasons to Pick Up the Hipster Handbook

The Hipster Handbook | Robert Lanham | Anchor Books

1. Apparently, a hipster uses words like “deck” (meaning cool) and “fin” (meaning uncool). Artsweek has yet to pass the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” phase of “cowabunga” and “totally tubular, dude.” Who knew it was passŽ? Also noted as “fin” were the phrases “jumping Jehoshaphat.” and “panties,” which is fine by us cuz only gold miners and child molesters use those two.

2. The UTF, or “Unemployed Trust Funder” who likes to dress in secondhand clothes from thrift stores, so that they can “travel like a chameleon from one social class to the next without anyone batting an eye.” (p. 14). Come on, you know who you are. The jig is up Jenny Rockefeller, or er – Smith.

3. Noting Jackie O., Jacques Cousteau, and Bozo the Clown (pre-Willard Scott) as being decidedly notable hipsters throughout history. Definitely good to give kudos to the man who kept the Hamburglar out of the slammer for all those years.

4. Creating an illustrated list of hipster hairdos for men including: the “Pomo Pomp,” “Casablanca” and the ever-lovely “Jewfro.” We’re just wondering where the R. Cuomo do is.

5. On the list of “11 Clues You Are a Hipster,” #6: “Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.” Oh come on, Mister I-Swear-It-Just-Does-This-Naturally. You had to know you weren’t the only one to discover pomade and Bed Head.