We warned you. Don’t tell us that we didn’t warn you.

Chancellor Yang just approved nine of the recommendations in the Chancellor’s Special Advisory Committee on Parking’s final report.

The thing is about three great firs thick and full of condescension, thumbing its nose at the students with one hand while asking for more money with the other. The move holds true to the iron law of the university – fees only go up. The only sense of pleasure students can gain from this is a sick vindication that those who follow can expect to pay much more in the future.

While you can’t complain too much about the extra $2 for daily parking permits, the real stinker in this deal is the institution of night and weekend parking.

If you’re one of the many who feel unsafe walking to class or to the library at night, you too can buy security for the meager price of $2 an evening. Not bad at all, except for the fact that there’s a whole class of people at UCSB to whom $2 here and there makes a difference.

The real cash will come from Goleta and Santa Barbara residents driving on campus for evening shows at Arts & Lectures or sporting events. The actual income from students parking on campus at night or on the weekend amounts to cigarette money.

But hey, if Parking Services wants to make a few bucks, picking on the scared and insecure is a lucrative business.

The amount of money it would take to make everyone safe and happy would probably be more than Parking Services earned from the night and weekend permits. That’s probably why they’re ditching the problem on the university.

The new fees might possibly border on forgivable if the extra money taken went back toward making sure people feel safe on campus late at night. According to the final report, however, it’s not Parking Services’ problem.

My mother always taught me to ‘fess up to the spilled milk and broken lamps. Maybe the committees’ parents skipped out the day they covered Personal Responsibility.

Even if the university tackles the mess with its own funds and increases the number of blue phones and lighting, it isn’t going to do much to allay the concerns of students. Now, it’ll be just much more convenient for you to ask your assailant to hold on while you call the police. Afterward, the abundant lighting will help you better identify your attacker in the police lineup.

But we warned you this was going to happen.

Luckily, I’ve arranged a little plan if you ever find yourself outside the library at 1 a.m. without a ride and fearing the shadows.

Stroll on down to Chancellor Yang’s house and knock on his door. Don’t be afraid; he’s a very nice man and the path to his place is well lit and paved with blue phones. Let him know how afraid you are for your safety. He might just give you a warm glass of milk and a cookie for your trouble.

Or, you could simply find the homes of the CSACOP members and crowd their driveway. If they tell you to move, just shrug and say, “It’s not my problem.”

Steven Ruszczycky is the Daily Nexus Opinion editor. He drives on campus without a permit – take that, Parking Services.