Thursday:

What’d I do with my other Shew? The UCSB Jazz Ensemble, directed by Jon Nathan (not the Japanese/CCS professor) plays a concert tonight with guest trumpet Bobby Shew. The show is at 8 at Lotte Lehman on campus. Tickets are $10/$7. Call 893-3535 for more information. If smooth isn’t your thing, perhaps you’d rather schmooze. The Santa Barbara Region Chamber of Commerce Mixer will be held tonight at the Inn of the Spanish Garden. Guests will enjoy hors d’oeuvres from Epiphany, wines from the Henry Wine Group, beers and ales from the Santa Barbara Brewing Company and desserts from Sugar. The mixer is from 5:30-7:30. The Inn is at 915 Garden St. Call 564-4700 for more information.

Friday:

Who would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him? Actors From The London Stage presents Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” tonight and tomorrow at the Lobero Theatre. Friday’s show is at 8. Saturday’s shows are at 2 and 8. The Lobero is located at 33 E. Canon Perdido St. Tickets are $15-$25. Call 963-0761 for more information. Theatre UCSB opens their production of “Hotel Paradiso” tonight at Hatlen Theatre on campus. The run ends on March 9. Performances are Thursday through Saturday at 8, Sunday at 2. Tickets are $12-$16. Call 893-3535 for more information.

Saturday:

Be a geek. It’s okay, I give you permission. Now’s your chance to meet some of the writers, directors, and artists of “The Simpsons.” This special signing at Metro Entertainment is limited to 250 people, who will have their “Simpsons” item autographed and get an original sketch of their favorite character. Metro Entertainment is located at 6 W. Anapamu St., downtown. The signing is from 1-4 p.m. Opening today at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art is “Desire and Devotion: Art from India, Tibet and Nepal from the John and Berthe Ford Collection” runs until June 2 and examines art and spirituality through the Hindu and Buddhist traditions in that region. The museum is located at 1130 State St., downtown.

Sunday/Monday:

No, this is not an Apple ][ educational game. It’s the film, “Emigrant Road: An Oregon Trail Adventure,” playing today at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. The film attempts to examine and recreate what the trying journey across the Oregon Trail during the 1840s and 1850s. The presentation begins at 3 p.m. The Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History is located at 2559 Puesta del Sol Rd. Call 682-4711 for more information. On Monday night, the ever-prolific and ever-independent Ani DiFranco will be playing at the Arlington Theatre. And if you don’t want to get beaten up, don’t ever pronounce her name “Annie.” It’s “Ah knee!” call 963-4408 for more information.

Tuesday:

Ah, there’s where I put my other shrew. Tonight, Arts & Lectures presents The Acting Company’s performance of “The Taming of the Shrew.” Find out why Kevin Kline says his “four years in The Acting Company were as valuable as being in the theater for twenty.” The performance includes an ASL interpreter. The show is at 8 in Campbell Hall. Tickets are $28/$25. Call 893-3535 for more information. Does anyone else think it’s too darn hot? If you can’t wait to take some more craps, the 50th anniversary tour of “Guys and Dolls” plays tonight and tomorrow at the Arlington Theatre. The Tony Award-winning musical is on its way back to Broadway. The show is at 7:30. Call 963-4408 for more information.

Wednesday:

Insert bad joke about hormones here. Tonight at Garwin Theatre, the SBCC Theatre Group opens its production of James McClure’s “Wild Oats,” based on an 18th-century Restoration comedy by John O’ Keefe. This time however, the farce is set in the Old West although it features all of the plot elements that made O’Keefe’s so popular and even includes an Amerindian guide with an Irish brogue. It runs until March 23 with shows at 8 p.m. on Thursdays through Saturdays and on Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets are $14-$16. Call 965-5935 for more information. Tonight in the MCC Theatre is a screening of the film, “Hopi: Songs of the Fourth World” at 6 p.m., examining the Hopi relation to maize. Call 893-8411 for more information.

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