Medics were called early this week to the aid of third-year Gabby Trinkino, whose bloodied foot was hard to ignore by many who passed her by on Pardall.
Trinkino, an environmental studies major, seemed shocked and horrified by her injuries: many shards of beer bottle stuck in her foot.
“I don’t understand how this could have happened,” a tearful Trinkino said as an ambivalent EMT removed a Corona’s shard from her big toe.
“Who puts glass in the street like this?!”
No one — apparently — has told Trinkino that this is Isla Vista, and everyone does.
Close friends and roommates of Trinkino told Nexustentialism reporters that she has been an adamant barefooter for about a year, after getting really high and watching a documentary about sustainable living.
“She already wears mostly thrifted old man clothes, makes her own deodorant and has a brass nose ring,” friend and co-op regular Kelsie Blakesly said. “So going barefoot seemed a pretty natural next step.”
Though the dangers of walking around one of the dirtiest towns in America — where vermin rule and lawlessness incessantly ensues — may seem blatantly obvious to some, Trinkino seemed all but unaware.
“I’ve been going shoeless for so long and this has never happened before. I’m like honestly shocked people would just litter like this. Who do they think they are?!”
Though the injury resulted in three small bandages, friends assured our reporter that Trinkino will be telling her harrowing tale — while sipping hard kombucha at band parties — for years to come. Many would assume such trauma would divert Trinkino from ever going barefoot again, but when asked if she would please just wear shoes like everyone else, she flatly refused.
Emma Demorest hopes Trinkino feels connected to mama Gaia when her crusty feet hit that urine-soaked sidewalk.
Emma Demorest is the assistant editor of Nexustentialism. She once licked the largest wooden yoyo in the world.