Nexus File Photo
The beginning of college is a little awkward. You don’t know the lay of the land, and you certainly don’t know the party etiquette. As a seasoned I.V. resident and partygoer, allow me to impart some of my wisdom upon you.
First thing’s first: BE PUNCTUAL! These parties start at 9 p.m. on the dot, and you want to be the first one there when they open the door. For the more dedicated, I recommend bringing a lawn chair and camping out several hours in advance. This way, you get first dibs on any plastic handle of Vitali you want! Lucky you!!
As for outfits, the world is your oyster. You can wear whatever you want, but ladies make sure you wear a pair of high heels — the higher the better. According to a research study from UCSB’s Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, men are attracted to women who can navigate social situations in wildly uncomfortable footwear. They also like women who can’t run away from them as easily.
You have a lot that you should bring with you to any I.V. party, so the best move is to bring a large purse or backpack to schlep it all around. Any Isla Vista partier should carry all of the following items in any party scenario: a water bottle (duh, hydration is key), a jacket (you never know when you’ll be cold), a snack (for the drunchies), keys, wallet, phone and a flashlight (it’ll make finding your friends so much easier).
Sometimes as a freshman you may be mistaken for an SBCC student. The best way to combat this is to wear your UCSB lanyard around your neck at all times. To assure authenticity, buy a case for your Student I.D. to affix to said lanyard. In some cases, your perm number may be the password to an exclusive Gauchos-only party, so make sure you’ve got it down.
Getting to the party from your dorm is an often unforeseen challenge for freshmen. My best suggestion to you would be to travel in a very large group. The more people you have, the better your chances of getting there! If you are unsure in your natural sense of direction, feel free to bring the map given to you at orientation and ask anyone on the street, “Where is the Del Playa?” Make sure you always walk on the sidewalk to avoid being hit by some lawless bikers.
If you’re feeling too drunk after a wild night of partying just take a seat on any street corner or curb. This will signal surrounding police officers that you are waaaaay out of it and could really use a water and some bread!
If you heed my advice, I can assure that you’ll be partying like a pro in no time. Can’t wait to see you all raging in I.V.!
Hannah Jackson does not endorse any of the previously mentioned behaviors.
