If you’re between the ages of 19 and 20, the excitement of your special day has long faded. You can’t do anything at 19 or 20 that you couldn’t do at 18, so really, what’s the point in celebrating? Well, if you’re anything like me and will celebrate your birthday for an entire month because you’re extra af, then you’ll find that this list covers ways to celebrate pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.
1. Answer birthday wishes from people you forgot you had on Facebook
This remains one of my all time ways to celebrate my birthday. I love casually liking birthday messages from people I forgot existed and haven’t talk to in years. It really feels like I’m giving back to my community.
2. Treat yourself
I’m only going to be this young once! You bet your ass I’m going to go all out and spend money I don’t have on things that will make me happy for two seconds. But hey, something has to fill the void, right?
3. Call your mom
Every year, I call my mom and thank her for giving birth to me. Then I apologize for making her suffer for so many years. I’m not sure if she will ever forgive me, but it’s the thought that counts!
4. Don’t do any school work
It’s your day, dammit, and your professors and TAs should understand that! You’re entitled to a stress free, work free day. And if they try to take points off or if they try to fail you, just pull the “It’s my birthday” card. Not only will it work every time, but your professors and TAs will be so impressed with your level of self care and excitement, they’ll high-five you and ask to go to your birthday party.
5. Have an existential crisis
This is by far my favorite way to celebrate my birthday. Nothing makes me happier than the thought that I’m a year closer to death, I haven’t accomplished anything, I’m never going to get a job, and I’m wasting my time at university instead of doing something else with my life and I’m never going to graduate, no one is ever going to love me and I’m most likely going to die alone.
I hope these tips come in handy. Have a happy birthday!
Christina Muoio is 19 and gets a hefty wash of existential dread every time she smells birthday cake.