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For the last month or so, I was somewhat into a particular girl. I took her on a couple dates which I thought went well, but a few days ago she said she was “not romantically connecting with me.” The truth sucks sometimes. In my saddened state, I reminisced on the times we hung out; I started reflecting on what I could have done differently. After an hour of reflection and talking to my homie Tyler, the only regret I could think of was: Why the fuck did I spend money on this girl? Don’t get me wrong, the girl is amazing. She’s beautiful, sweet and funny. I’m not saying she wasn’t worth the $50 I spent on her over the month plus, but it got me thinking, why are men still seen as chivalrous for paying? The year is 2010 and I am a firm believer that women shouldn’t mind paying for themselves.
[media-credit id=20105 align="alignleft" width="166"][/media-credit]After the ’09 recession, women became the majority breadwinners for families across America. Don’t think that’s possible? Just look at the man on top: President Obama. Mrs. Obama was the main breadwinner of their family from the beginning of their marriage up until Barack’s book sales started to rise a few years ago. There are plenty of women making a lot more money than I am, yet for some reason, if I were to go on a date, I would be expected to pay.
Still not convinced I have a point? Consider these three ideas:
#1: If a man likes a lady, he asks her out, he tries to impress her, he pays for her. If she offers to pay, the man should insist on paying for the whole thing. If a man asks a lady on a date, then yes, he should pay for her. Does he pay for her every time thereafter? Will she expect him to? What you ladies need to realize is that most men not only have to invest their time, but their hard-earned money as well.
#2: YouTube “Chris Rock: Difference between Men and Women.” I know Chris Rock is a comedian, but he speaks a lot of truth. And I quote, “Women don’t like paying for shit. Pussy costs money, dick is free.”
#3: Even a man as thrifty as me will have to pay for something. Sure, you can take her on a hike or to the beach, but eventually you have to take her somewhere nice(ish). Let’s look at my latest girl bill: $20- dinner, $10-picnic food, $15-another dinner, $5-gas, realizing you’re down $50, priceless. If I take a girl out, of course I’ll pay. It just sucks how women have come so far, yet still believe in the male breadwinner themselves, albeit subconsciously.
All the ladies I have discussed this topic with say, “It is chivalrous for a man to pay.” Can I not be chivalrous by writing you a poem, making you a song, saying “I love you” and meaning it? In my opinion, Dutch is Clutch, and while I am in no way an expert on dating, I am an expert with saving. Seriously, fellas, dutch it from the beginning. You establish that you can’t afford to pay for her half all the time (or at least are not willing to). You save money and if a girl reacts unkindly to your newfound rule, then she’s obviously not in it for your personality. Am I a cheap bastard? Sure, but I think I’m just a man shedding light on an area of insanity. Boom.
Calvin Jhunjhnuwala is a third-year film studies major.