Drew Mackie

November 24, 2003

The Artful Dodger: Sins of the Inept Reporter

By Drew Mackie

I write a lot. I write for school, I write for my job, and I think my post-college plans will somehow involve newspaper journalism, a special form of writing through which one attempts to disseminate the truth. I've just...

October 30, 2003

Will Your Politics Be on the Final, Professors?

By Drew Mackie

Students don't pay for lectures about why the president is an asshole when they should be teaching them how to make a macaroni sculpture or interpret Dostoyevsky. Neither should they expect to learn about a professor's b...

October 30, 2003

Burn Britney Burn!

By Drew Mackie

Britney Spears is going to hell. But she didn't get her reservations in Perdition for D-grade musical stylings, her vapid personality or her contamination of American young women with her whorish fashion sense.

October 23, 2003

The Artful Dodger: ‘The Real World’ Is Lame but Rejection Still Sucks

By Drew Mackie

I just volunteered to have my privacy obliterated and my very persona flattened into a two-dimensional TV character. I auditioned for "The Real World."

October 16, 2003

Kill Bill

By Drew Mackie

Thurman, a nameless blonde swordswoman in a motorcycle suit with a yellowjacket color scheme, slices through countless Yakuza, the mad schoolgirl Go Go Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama) and the notorious crime boss Johnny Mo (Gor...

October 15, 2003

The Artful Dodger: Hollister Co. Shirts Endorse Earthquakes, Mediocrity

By Drew Mackie

After the towers at the World Trade Center fell, people everywhere started wearing those "I Love NY" shirts. Even if they didn't live in the Big Apple, the shirts helped them feel like they were supporting a worthy cause...

October 9, 2003

Citizen Kane’s Alter Ego

By Drew Mackie

It's a great time to wear tights, even if Orson Welles never thought so. Since the success of 2002's "X-Men," which both earned subtle praise from critics and grossed $157,299,717 during its theatrical run, Hollywood has...

October 2, 2003

Media Gadfly

By Drew Mackie

The bastardization of a once earth-shatteringly political rock movement by an entire age group of poseurs totally deserving the label "Generation Z": priceless.

September 30, 2003

The Artful Dodger: Just Try to Ignore the Talking Pavement

By Drew Mackie

"You know this isn't wrong." The pavement near the edge of the 6600 block of Pasado Road told me so. If I'm not mistaken, this mysterious message of reassurance became part of the Isla Vista landscape when some pro-war l...

September 23, 2003

The Artful Dodger: A GOLDen Shower for All

By Drew Mackie

Normally, if I said so-and-so went down on me and didn't come up all night, I'd get a high five. But when the so-and-so that started to blow has the initials G-O-L-D, the result complicates my life considerably.

September 19, 2003

Surreal Summer: Sunny California Loses Its Grip on Reality

By Drew Mackie

Never has the question "What the hell happened?" been so apt. It's like California suffered the Attack of the Thousand Subleasers. Now we're all left to vacuum up all the crazy remnants of this surreally sloppy summer.

May 29, 2003

Cliff Notes, Heroin, Porn, and the English Major

By Drew Mackie

I might as well wear a Cliff Notes-yellow S on my chest for "shit for brains."

May 23, 2003

Group Grades ‘Bummer Beaches’

By Drew Mackie

East Beach at Mission Creek is, according to Santa Monica-based environmental group Heal the Bay, a nauseating, rash-inducing eyesore. It is, in a word, a bummer.

May 22, 2003

Electric Six | Danger! High Voltage | Beggars/XL

By Drew Mackie

"Fire in the disco / Fire in the Taco Bell / Fire in the disco / Fire at the gates of hell." So sings Electric Six frontman Dick Valentine in "Danger! High Voltage" on the album of the same name.

May 19, 2003

‘Buffy’ Fans To Unite for Final Show

By Drew Mackie

Students have a chance to watch Buffy before she - like the vampires she stakes - bites the dust. The Santa Barbara Film Society is sponsoring a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" farewell party tonight at 7 in Room 1004 of Girv...

May 16, 2003

Judge Rules To Suspend Sentence for Protester

By Drew Mackie

Sanderson Beck, an Ojai resident and author of several books on political philosophy, will not serve jail time for trespassing twice on federally restricted land during anti-war demonstrations at Vandenberg Air Force Bas...