New Leader To Transmute ITA
he Institute for Theoretical Alchemy named Sir Steven of Giddinfield as its new director on Monday. Sir Steven will assume his post today with the portentous beginning of a new moon.
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Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Everything shower every day
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Reusing condoms
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Collecting tears to water their plants
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Fracking
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Owns seven Stanley cups
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
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