Thursday:

You may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, but you can certainly teach a new dog old tricks. Tonight, Arts & Lectures presents the Borromeo String Quartet. The concert is at 8 at the Montecito Country Club. Tickets are $35 general admission, $19 for UCSB students. For some “Austin roots and rhythms,” check out Flambeau at SOhO, located at 1221 State St., downtown. Flambeau goes on at 8:30 p.m. For a tale of friendship and fantasy in an Argentine prison, the Santa Barbara premiere of Manuel Puig’s “Kiss of the Spider Woman” opens tonight at the Center Stage Theater in Paseo Nuevo. The show starts at 8. Tickets are $18 general, $12 students. Call 963-0408 for more information.

Friday:

Since nobody seems to know what the words “emo” and “oi” mean any more, Alkaline Trio and Bouncing Souls will fluff your musical definitions. They’re playing tonight at The Living Room in Goleta. Rediscover who’s making all of Chicago’s mama’s boys shed a single heartfelt tear. You should go, you should go, you should go. The Living Room is located at 430C S. Fairview. The show starts at 7:30, admission is $12 and all ages are welcome. If you love movies with Stephen Baldwin and Joshua Charles as much as I do, Theatre UCSB presents “Maiden’s Prayer,” opening tonight at the Performing Arts Theatre on campus at 8. Tickets are $12-$16 and the show runs until next Thursday.

Saturday:

No cheese and no steaks. Tonight and tomorrow night, Arts & Lectures presents Philadanco (The Philadelphia Dance Company) at Campbell Hall. Dance Magazine lauds Philadanco for having “built its reputation on the ability to do everything.” Tonight’s show is at 8, Sunday’s at 7. Tickets are $25/$22 for general admission, $19/$16 for UCSB students. Cuban. Trumpet. Legend. ‘Nuff said. Arturo Sandoval plays tonight and tomorrow with the Santa Barbara Symphony. While most know Sandoval for his jazz and son sounds, his virtuosity extends into the classical and modern domains, as he will show in this concert. Shows are Saturday at 8 and Sunday at 3 at the Arlington Theatre. Call 963-4408 for more information.

Sunday and Monday:

Celebrate the defeat of the plot to destroy Jews in Persia on Sunday at Congregation B’nai B’rith’s Purim Festival. The event includes a carnival fundraiser from 10 a.m. – 2 p.m., with services at 7 p.m. The latest offering from the Sings Like Hell series is a performance by singer/songwriter Nils Lofgren on Sunday night. Lofgren began touring and recording at 17 with Neil Young. He is currently a member of Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. What more could you want? And the guitar sound is … incendiary. Show starts at 8 at the Lobero Theatre. Monday and Tuesday, Arts & Lectures presents the “Best of the 26th Annual Banff Mountain Film Festival.” Programs are different each day. Screenings are at 7:30 p.m. at Campbell Hall.

Tuesday:

Is your TV a drag? Come see Santa Barbara’s favorite (only) drag kings, the Disposable Boy Toys along with Buttcheek Doofus for a gay pride benefit tonight at SOhO. The show starts at 7:30. SOhO is at 1221 State St. Unlike DJ Fatkid, the King of Cabaret never comes up short. Tonight, the Lobero Theatre presents “An Evening With Bobby Short.” Although he humbly refers to himself as a saloon singer, he is widely regarded as the greatest cabaret singer of all time, with great taste in music and an unerring charm. He performs at 8. Tickets are $65. The Lobero is located at 33 E. Canon Perdido. Call 963-0761 for more information.

Wednesday:

The wild wild west doesn’t have to be as lame as a Will Smith movie. Arts & Lectures presents Terry Tempest Williams, a bold and lyrical nature writer with a passion for the American western wilderness. She reads tonight at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History at 7:30. Tickets are $12 for the general public, $8 for UCSB students and SBMNH members. The museum is located at 2559 Puesta del Sol Rd., behind the old mission. What other way is there to combine celebrity with the pretension of art houses? That’s right, kids, The Santa Barbara Film Festival opens tonight at the Arlington. It’s condensed from 11 days to 5 this year but still manages to show 75 films. Visit www.sbfilmfestival.org for more information.