My most unnecessary argument took place in ninth grade. My history teacher and I were disagreeing about whether or not there is a correct way to hold a pencil. Admittedly, I did get a little too passionate about my argument, but only because he continued to talk over me. I’ll never forget what he said when I finally raised my voice so that he could hear me over his: 

“Is it that time of the month?”

Not only was he wrong, but he also didn’t even have the decency to say the word “period.” Why is it that periods or hormones are so often blamed whenever menstruators are emotional? 

First, it’s important to understand how the idea of constant mood swings, in relation to periods, was cemented in our society. There are two main occurrences around menstruation linked to changes in mood. The first, and most common, is premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Mayo Clinic estimates that roughly 75% of menstruators have experienced one or more symptoms of PMS, which is categorized by both physical and emotional symptoms, such as joint and muscle pain, headache, fatigue, as well as anxiety, mood swings and insomnia. Though PMS affects many people, its magnitude varies greatly. The more severe form of PMS is known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Roughly 5-10% of menstruators experience PMDD, and it is recognized as a debilitating disturbance that often impacts daily routines, relationships and general functioning, as people with PMDD experience clinical levels of depression and anxiety. 

The most recognized cause for these legitimate mood changes are an individual’s hormone levels, which are known to fluctuate throughout the menstrual cycle. Hormones, which are chemical messengers that travel in our bloodstream that are linked to changes in the body, play a key role in reproductive health for everyone. The two main ovarian hormones, estrogen and progesterone, are often cited as the causes for mood changes, especially during the luteal phase when both progesterone and estrogen levels decline. Some studies even link estrogen levels and that of serotonin, a neurotransmitter heavily involved in determining mood.

PMS, PMDD and the scientific basis of hormonal changes unfortunately enable society to attribute every mood change of a menstruator to their period, invalidating experiences. While it is true that hormones have real consequences on our bodies and minds, that does not mean that every negative emotion is linked to hormonal changes or menstruation. 

PMS and mood changes have also been used as a talking point in political rhetoric, when women are characterized to be incapable of leadership because they are too emotional. Instead of being treated as a legitimate condition affecting the lives of many people, PMS is now used as a way to demean and discredit emotional responses even when menstruation is not involved. This disregard of emotions surrounding the menstrual cycle can also be linked to a broader stigmatization of mental health. When we believe that issues are imaginary, we invalidate very real struggles.

“I’m just PMSing,” I tell my friends. 

When I cry myself to sleep that night, I tell myself my feelings are not real. 

Invalidation often also comes from within, while PMS is used to justify and explain every negative emotion when menstruating while ignoring the underlying problem. 

For example, on the talk show “The Doctors,” clinical psychologist Jane Ussher explains an interaction she had with a patient where the patient had a long day at work, then came home and did every household chore while her husband was “sitting in the garden, drinking beer, and reading the paper.” The patient then went on to say that this made her very angry and therefore was an example of her PMS. The real problem, her husband being unhelpful, was not addressed, because both of them continued to blame her PMS for her emotional outbursts when she was just feeling alone in caring for their children. Saying that emotions are caused by PMS effectively claims that they come from no real cause, which is rarely the case.  

When PMS and hormones are used to justify emotions, two issues arise. One, we solidify that being emotional itself is not normal or allowed. Whenever a person is asked if they are on their period simply for showing emotions, we reinforce the idea that having emotions is irrational, which should not be the case. 

Two, we invalidate emotions by reducing them to hormonal changes. As one Reddit user puts it: “If women are always having shifts in emotion because of hormones due to periods or ovulation, how do you know if anything is real?” This sense of helplessness surrounding menstrual cycle related hormones is understandable when it feels all in our heads. 

As it turns out, in a way, it is in our heads. A study by UC Santa Barbara researchers of 30 naturally cycling women examined white matter (WM), cortical thickness (CT) and brain volume changes in correspondence with the hormones estradiol, luteinizing hormone, follicle-stimulating hormone and progesterone. The study found that “simultaneous brain-wide changes in human WM microstructure and CT coincided with menstrual cycle-driven hormone rhythms.” Such findings illustrate that these hormone levels are consistent with physical changes to the brain, not simply emotional changes. Both emotional and physical changes throughout menstrual cycles are not imaginary and should not be treated as nothing when they result in such significant changes. 

We can understand that some feelings may be exacerbated by PMS and hormonal changes while also understanding that those feelings are not invalid and often have reasoning behind them. Every emotion is “real,” whether it is driven by hormonal changes or not. It’s important to give yourself grace for the very real emotional and physical changes that occur during a menstrual cycle, and acknowledge that working through these changes does not mean ignoring strong emotions when they arise. 

Mr. Gillis, if you’re somehow reading this, I hope you understand how wrong it was to ask me that. And I still think I’m right about the pencil argument.