“Without freedom and trust, there is no intimacy”– quote from THE wedding
There were many joyous speeches exclaimed under the sweltering sun memorial day weekend, but this line was special. Breathed through the lips of the father of the bride, these words were expressed at his daughter’s wedding ceremony, which I attended with my family in Punta Mita, Mexico. We were honored to be his guests, and we were humbled to listen to his fast-paced heart. I was not expecting to be inspired at this wedding. The idea of marriage had gotten so tainted from my viewpoint, as I looked at marriage as oppressive towards those who cannot get married. It seemed a way to possess another being selfishly, a way to show off, a way to praise ego or a means to feel imprisoned by structural love. This was my mentality for the past couple of years. But this line shook me awake. Rolling from one day to the next, acts of true love were shown between the bride and the groom, and the families that we were surrounded by. This love revolutionized my wedding opinion. I now recognize weddings as a sacred ritual that humxn beings partake in, and when the purpose is pure, it’s all about love and companionship. I am thankful for this experience, as it cleansed my mind of negative stereotypes and opened me up to the prospect of my own wedding someday (maybe)…
I was most moved when the proud dad made himself vulnerable in front of 400 people in the moment he touched on intimacy. Please, he asked his new son, show my daughter these two attributes (freedom and trust), and you will sustain one life of strength together. I listened with free tears on my face, and free fire in my rumbling soul. I thanked him silently for his honesty. He continued with his speech. “When you are down, look up to where you can be. When you are high like a tree, look down at the fruits on the ground and be humble.” It was like the world stopped in ritualized steps of capitalistic success and went with destiny for humanity. Be humble. Stay grounded in what the purpose of this wedding is, Amoo Isaac seemed to say, which is soulmates coming together in a unity of power.
The vows between the bride and the groom were also very powerful. They spoke from their hearts, allowing tears to come and go, touching honestly on moments when they first met leading up to this matrimony. They spoke about knowing that they were soulmates, and how being in love with someone who adds to your life is the most magical of experiences. I was touched. Everything was RAW. They were DEPTH. This wedding was art.
I left the wedding early upon being tired and baked by the heat, but I stumbled across more inspiration on the shuttle back to the hotel, inspiration that strayed from the love theme. I was half-falling asleep until I heard three men around my age talking about business. One of the boys started talking about self-motivation, and how motivation has got to be intrinsic and come from a place of deep passion. He went on to talk about how parents should not be your motivators, nor can you blame your parents and their lack of effort into motivating you for not reaching your goals.
“Don’t you want to succeed and make a difference? Don’t you want to be somebody? People need to stop blaming their parents and start taking responsibility. You can’t get caught up in just being a socialite. You need to work hard.” WOW. This was something I NEEDED to hear, as I’ve been apt to blame my parents for a lot of things that have nothing to do with them. I needed a wake-up call, and they gave me one without the intention to.
They went on to talk about elaborate business tactics. They spoke about what types of businesses they wanted to invest in, start themselves, or aid in running and how they were going to make it happen. I have not been around people my age with that type of confidence and actualized goals in a long time. They seemed to have planned out their dream with a very realistic structure, that of which I wanted to make my own in regards to my own passion. It was so refreshing to listen to people talk with humility but in strength about their life plans. In that moment I knew what I needed to do. I needed to pursue being a journalist, no matter how unrealistic it is and no matter how far it is from what I am studying in this university.
Aside from these sources of inspiration, I was deeply inspired by how close all the families seemed at this event. They were extremely loving and they weren’t reserved in expressing their compassion. They would hug each other, kiss each other, make jokes publicly about one another, dance on the airplane, sing, etc. without worrying about any sort of image. The truth is, we all should live to LIVE and to FEEL each other. I felt so much emotion from everyone around me. Thank you for showing us this love. Thank you for helping me bring down the walls I so often hold up in order to please or fit in dishonestly.
So, I learned that the intention of weddings are not always about materialism, consumerism, or flaunting what you have and others do not have. I do think weddings are not inclusive, in the sense that not everyone can get married, and the support of marriage can be detrimental, but it is also about love. I will not judge weddings any longer, I will not harbor resentment towards people throwing elaborate wedding parties, and I will be happy for couples in love and light.
I came back from Mexico with a sunburn, but I also came back with a heart full of compassion from many types of peoples and ideas set on fire. I am appreciative of my time with these beautiful beings, celebrating many lifetimes of love for all.