Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

Ah, Halloween. The one day a year when cosplayers are the top dogs of the night. What else, apart from a comic-con worthy costume, could you possibly need for Halloween to be the best that it can be?

Dance moves.

No amount of costuming prowess will hide your deplorable ineptitude on the dance floor if you are not adequately prepared. Whether you think you’ve already got all the moves you’ll ever need to succeed at a party, or you are only just now learning the basic technique of twerking, I challenge you to add these Halloween must-haves to your repertoire!


1. The Monster Mash

By far the easiest of the Halloween grooves, The Monster Mash involves minimal footwork and very simple arm motions. Like most dancing, doing the Monster Mash by yourself is a pretty unsatisfying affair. You will end up looking like the outcast monster with no friends to mash with. So make sure you teach it to all your friends, and go to a party where you’ll get to show off this elite routine!

Disclaimer: you do not have to be dressed as a monster in order to do the Monster Mash. The Monster Mash does not discriminate on any basis of costume. The Monster Mash may not be for everyone; if you feel a sudden urge to be anywhere but where the Monster Mash is happening, consult a friend. If they’re a good friend, they’ll make you do it anyways.

Smart Dance Works provides a great video of their rendition of the Monster Mash.


2. Thriller

Everyone knows the basic thriller position: the one where you make the little dinosaur arms in front of you, and pace back and forth zombie style. For some reason, however, no one ever bothers to learn the entire thing, exactly the way no one ever bothers to learn more than the chorus of a song. But with slides to the left and right that are infinitely cooler than the Cha Cha Slide and Michael Jackson’s signature pelvic thrusts, Thriller is everything you could ask for as a dance. So why not learn the entire thing and wow your fellow Gauchos, MJ style?

If you’re a visual learner, check out this step-by-step instructional video (skip to 0:50 if you’re in a hurry!) All you’ll need to follow along with these instructions is the ability to count to eight. After stoichiometry and derivatives, this easy mathematical exercise should be a great ego boost!

For those of you who would prefer written instructions, the closest the internet can provide is presented by Thrill The World, a website dedicated to bringing people together to dance Michael Jackson’s Thriller, at Being a visual art, however, it’s rather difficult to figure out if you aren’t sure what “booty bounce and “jump reach air guitar” mean. A combination of these two sources should be the perfect compromise.


3. The Time Warp

Like Thriller, this is a cooler version of the Cha Cha Slide. The Time Warp is one of the easiest dances to learn because the song provides line-by-line reminders. Be sure to brush up on your left versus right before the song starts so you don’t jump right into your neighbor (pun intended); after that, you’re ready to go!

In case you live under a rock, the Time Warp is from the creepy and sensual “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” If you would like a demonstration of a perfectly executed Time Warp, check out the UK’s 2013 Rocky Horror 40th Anniversary Production Tour cast here:

With these three quintessential Halloween whirls in your repertoire, you’ll be king of the dance floors. Shimmy, twist and jitterbug on, Gauchos!

For the record, Sammy Gerraty is not a monster who has no one to mash with. Everyone wants to mash with Sammy.