Tired, hungover tulips to the remarkably safe Halloween celebrations this year. The only disaster was a sudden cloud burst on Friday night, which only made the debauchery a little more wet than usual.

Conniving, scheming turds to the UC Regents for raising school fees during the Great Recession. We know it’s wrong. You know it’s wrong. And you wonder why you’ve lost our trust.

[media-credit id=20122 align=”alignleft” width=”250″][/media-credit]Shiny, foil-wrapped tulips to the new Chipotle in Storke Plaza. Another great stop for the midnight munchies. Well done, capitalism.

Frozen, shivering turds to Isla Vista’s subzero temperatures this fall. Sure, it happens every year, but there’s something wrong about having to bundle up on the beach under the California sun.

Blazed, defeated turds to California voters for voting down Proposition 19. Legalization was a ballot box away and we blew it.

Vibrant, healthy tulips to the defeat of Proposition 23 in the November midterm elections. Mother Nature took a deep sigh of relief.

Rancid, homophobic turds to the bullies that caused a wave of homosexual suicides this year. We hope that Karma’s a bitch.

Happy, yet slightly droopy tulips to the guys’ soccer team.  Thanks for taking us to the NCAAs. We’re sorry the glory had to end so soon.