Have you always wanted to be a superhero? Well, if you weren’t already trained to be one by age 11, you might reconsider after seeing “Kick-Ass,” the newest and hippest action-adventure flick of the season.

When Dave Lizewski (new-ish Aaron Johnson) decides it’s time somebody do something about the crummy criminals in town, he orders a green wetsuit online and becomes Kick-Ass, a (not-so-) powerful real-life hero, who probably eats more asphalt than food and seems to be all alone in the world.

Enter the most hilarious shot of the film: Damon Macready (Nicolas Cage) is pointing a gun at his pre-teen daughter, Mindy (Chloe Moretz). “It will only sting a little.” You don’t know it yet, but the two are a set of weapon-wielding, mob boss-fighting vigilantes. Still, I’d probably cross Big Daddy before I’d even look at his kid the wrong way.

Director Matthew Vaughn (“Stardust”) depicts a no-holds-barred view of the world, where jerks don’t stop being jerks just because you’re mean back, and high school nerds are still nerds, even if they’re superheroes. The pace slows down a bit mid-film, and you start to think it’s going to suck for the rest of its 117 minutes. But then you realize it was to prepare you for the most over-the-top fight sequence you’ve ever seen. Bring a towel — you might piss yourself.

Charmingly realistic as a group of high school nerds, pals Marty (Clark Duke, “Hot Tub Time Machine”) and Todd (youngster Evan Peters) play the perfect amount of vulgar to avoid seeming like Judd Apatow characters while still getting across that they’re gross teenagers. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (“Superbad”) plays the rich mobster’s son-turned-fake-hero, Red Mist, and his outrageous accessories add a nice bit of obnoxious to the mix.

By the end of the movie, you’re not cheering for the film’s protagonist. Rather, you’re rooting for this ass-kicking, switchblade-wielding fifth grader, who represents everything you’ve ever wanted to be. Mainly, badass.

To be frank, the movie’s a big ball of ridiculous, but one can’t help loving every second of it.